almost birthday ep (demo)

by Jack Verlaine

/
1.
there’s a war that still lives in my body ended up in a city that’s movie star pretty freer than ever i brought winter with me lonely whenever there’s no one to miss me no one to miss me no one to miss me i’m afraid i cause you pain i’m enamored with my fate adding habits to my days melting together and fading away my place as a faceless brute treat me tender as a bruise born to use and born to lose i wanna be just like you love me in a way i understand as i risk a desperate ascent ‘cause i don’t know who i am unless i’m in the depths again the other year i sank into this character i play and i’m not thinking clearly i was drinking nearly every day in the jargon of a witness i was sick with satisfaction need illusions of transgression clinging in a senseless fashion to the image of a past that never ever ever happened in the horror of my nightlife in the agony of passion [i wanna be like you can’t get enough of me i wanna be someone worthy of love i mean] x4
2.
she drinks so she can stand to look at herself in the mirror for just a little while longer as clouds obscure the rueful moon she leans and learns in uniform a better way home all the better alone a path lined with poppies that conquer wherever they grow the brooklyn streets a familiar haze controlled demolition is coming in waves the part of the skeptic is easy to play she longs for the nights of a looser sleep she’s looking too close at the labyrinth deep imprisoned by the company she keeps whatever happens happens all the time the siren’s mourning pulse describes the oddest web that’s being spun feels like somebody’s reading her mind a silence about and the threat of a song the truth can come out but the damage is done a story is just like a loaded gun she knows that she hurts and she lets herself rot to better pretend that she’s something she’s not she can fuck who she envies, it’s never enough the moon is sweet strawberry flesh eyes glow like cigarette ends she conjures gods of war again so life can’t get to her just yet spare her an echo, she looks for a mirror a little bit broken with soul scabbed over got a taste for blood and she wants more it’s all feeling stranger, illusions still hold the way she sees people is out of control the turmoil that’s required to conform whatever happens happens all the time worried somebody’s reading her mind the cool kids cultivate a fear of death it feels like there’s no one left
3.
in the right light in the nighttime i could i could be the villain seeking bliss i start religions talk to myself i don’t listen in this timeline in the nightlife i could never be forgiven no ambition start religions go sometimes my brain cries out for a bullet years later i feel worn out, sewn together nothing softens the spasms of hunger the things that bring me pleasure narrow down you taught me everything i know i don’t feel safe around your ghost, so it goes you taught me everything i fear i don’t feel real without you here, oh no invincible, invisible your precious ghost will break my fall i like you just a bit too much seek heaven but i cannot touch a joke that gets to have its punchline in the end i wanted glory and i wanted it fast, my friend wanted to burn out, be the greatest, yeah in my head i’m just a child calling calling calling violent lyrics in default subtitles watch the rebels fall in line and give me something to aspire easy ways to be somebody dressed in leather feeling pressure play the lover in a movie every day i start all over killed what could’ve been the other someone brilliant someone special someone living just to suffer in the right light in the nighttime wishing deeply i was rough and gnawing hunger, aching lungs i go

about

basically, it's almost my birthday.

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released September 9, 2023

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Jack Verlaine Brooklyn, New York

raw, decaying nightmare folk

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